Tansavante verses the Brazilian Cement Hauler plus The Big Orange Toilet
Transavante verses the Brazilian Cement Hauler! Well, it is a Google world we live in. Ever wondered what happened to that nerd who always sat at the back of the class, or that girlfriend/boyfriend you had to leave behind. Chances are they could have found there way onto/into the Google world. As a professional malingerer I am often surprised to find lost or forgotten friends high up some corporate ladder or social elevator. I image many others have found notoriety for all the wrong reasons but I am not aware of any brush with a chainsaw murderer or the like but who knows. Anyway, with interest I goggled Transavante and there it was. I'm ranked higher on Google than a Brazilian Cement Hauler, how's that? Little old Transavante with little more than an abundance of whimsy trumps the Brazilian Cement Hauler.
Ferreira's company, Transportadora Avante Ltda (Transavante), and the industry it serves benefited from a construction boom that has lasted through much of the carrier's nearly quarter century in business. Based near Belo Horizonte, Minas Gerais, Transavante runs 80 tractors and almost 100 trailers, over half of them dry bulkers.
Watch out TNT I am breathing down your backside. Speaking of backsides. I recently had the most bizarre experience which involved a backside, mine, and one of my favorite blog topics, toilets. Blog does have some rhyming association, no? Anyway, there I was screaming through the central west, New South Wales. Now this certainly isn't the kind of place you'd expect to have an anal experience. OK, OK this is not going to get crude. I don't suppose it was an anal experience as such but I did come across the most bizarre toilet I've been to, or perhaps I have just had a sheltered live? While I have been to pay-for-poo all over Europe, squatted on Asian toilets and perched precariously on an Aussie drop toilet pondering my plight if I fell I have never entered the brave new world of the concept toilet. And all this in a town called 'Orange'. Can you imagine naming a town Orange? What a legacy! There is also a town in Queensland called Banana, how imaginative. These early explorers really extended themselves when choosing these names. Thankfully I think these area the only place names in oz named after fruit. I don't think there is a town called apple, peach, mango, grape or watermelon but I could be wrong.
Anyway, back to the chase. I am in the township of Orange and sitting proud in the car park just behind the Coles supermarket is an edifice resembling a toilet so off I go. I should have know I was about to have a cultural experience when I see a button on the outside wall. There is no sign saying open or press or the like, just a button. It is almost instinct that if you see a button of course it needs to be pushed. Who knows, it could be a button to activate a large rubber hammer to belt you on the head or release trap doors at your feet that drops you into a pit of hungry crocodiles but there is a little voice in your head that says, 'press the button, come on I know you want to, just press the button' . So, I press the button and the auto door opens sliding to the left with piped 'mu sac' cued to start as the door opens. I take a step inside and the door closes behind me. Hell, is this the point when the poisonous gases are pumped into the cubical to exterminate the out of towner, the non orange person! So far so good. There is a porcelain seat on the floor so at least somethings don't change. To the mu sac rendition of 'what the world needs now' I gingerly unbuckle my tourers and get down to the business at hand. While sitting in a rather prone position I examine the furnishings. What, another button? This one is located close to a slot in the wall. Having survived so far I decide to take my chances again and press this button, burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr click, a length of toilet paper extends from the wall. How cute, automatic toilet dispenser. Another meaningless invention I'll file with all the other gizmo's that are totally unnecessary like the 'key finder'. How's this for an invention, a key finder that you press the button on which in turn activates a loud beep from the lost keys. Sounds great except for one small problem. Where the fuck did I put the key finder! I think you can work out the problem.
So, there I was not particularly impressed by this auto toilet paper dispenser. I mean I am not a Luddite, I don't mind a new invention that reduces labour of solves a problem, but really, an auto toilet paper dispenser? I can imagine some nerdy sales person using this as a selling point to a naive Orange Council purchaser with claims the Concept 2000 toilet has 'auto paper dispenser'. Wow, that must be good, we'll buy it! As a 'client' you are still left with a piece of paper in your hand. When they automate the other end of the equation I will really sit up and pay attention. Sorry about the pun.
There is only so long you can sit and ponder human endevour from a toilet in an Orange car park and amuse yourself pressing the toilet paper button. I stand to make my exit but the convenience still had a couple of peculiarities in stall for me. I turned to press the flush button and discover a sign. A sign in the auto toilet? Obviously humans still needed some direction in this brave new environment. The sign instructed, 'There is no flush button. Toilet will flush automatically when you wash your hands or when you exit the toilet'. Wow, auto flush! I started to feel like Mr Bean as I passed my hands under the auto activated tap to watch the auto activated toilet looking from one to the other.
Finally, it was time to leave after what seemed like a journey through time. I found myself back in the harsh daylight trying to focus on the real world again with a feeling somewhere between that you have when you get off a ride in sideshow alley and perhaps being molested. Had I been fondled by the Concept 2000? I did however have some sense of satisfaction, all this and absolute gratis, zilch, nada, nothing, free! I'd ridden the Concept 2000 and it hadn't cost a cent! It would be enough to confirm to a Lithuanian bus driver what the west really is a cesspit of decadence. I did find myself however considering the future of the free poo world in these economic rationalist times and user pays philosophy. I am sure it won't be too long before that red button on the door is replace by a coin slot or even better card reader. Your visa statement would read, Poo- Orange. Once inside the new profit driven enterprise 'they' would obviously want you out as quickly as possible. No more sitting playing with the toilet paper dispenser. An auto detector could ascertain your age. Teenagers would be blasted with Frank Sinatra and the elderly with Slipknot and perhaps for little tots they would simply play the wiggles backwards. Move on Transavante I think I have a load of cement to deliver somewhere south of the Rio Del Fargo. Hasta la vista amigo.
Ferreira's company, Transportadora Avante Ltda (Transavante), and the industry it serves benefited from a construction boom that has lasted through much of the carrier's nearly quarter century in business. Based near Belo Horizonte, Minas Gerais, Transavante runs 80 tractors and almost 100 trailers, over half of them dry bulkers.
Watch out TNT I am breathing down your backside. Speaking of backsides. I recently had the most bizarre experience which involved a backside, mine, and one of my favorite blog topics, toilets. Blog does have some rhyming association, no? Anyway, there I was screaming through the central west, New South Wales. Now this certainly isn't the kind of place you'd expect to have an anal experience. OK, OK this is not going to get crude. I don't suppose it was an anal experience as such but I did come across the most bizarre toilet I've been to, or perhaps I have just had a sheltered live? While I have been to pay-for-poo all over Europe, squatted on Asian toilets and perched precariously on an Aussie drop toilet pondering my plight if I fell I have never entered the brave new world of the concept toilet. And all this in a town called 'Orange'. Can you imagine naming a town Orange? What a legacy! There is also a town in Queensland called Banana, how imaginative. These early explorers really extended themselves when choosing these names. Thankfully I think these area the only place names in oz named after fruit. I don't think there is a town called apple, peach, mango, grape or watermelon but I could be wrong.
Anyway, back to the chase. I am in the township of Orange and sitting proud in the car park just behind the Coles supermarket is an edifice resembling a toilet so off I go. I should have know I was about to have a cultural experience when I see a button on the outside wall. There is no sign saying open or press or the like, just a button. It is almost instinct that if you see a button of course it needs to be pushed. Who knows, it could be a button to activate a large rubber hammer to belt you on the head or release trap doors at your feet that drops you into a pit of hungry crocodiles but there is a little voice in your head that says, 'press the button, come on I know you want to, just press the button' . So, I press the button and the auto door opens sliding to the left with piped 'mu sac' cued to start as the door opens. I take a step inside and the door closes behind me. Hell, is this the point when the poisonous gases are pumped into the cubical to exterminate the out of towner, the non orange person! So far so good. There is a porcelain seat on the floor so at least somethings don't change. To the mu sac rendition of 'what the world needs now' I gingerly unbuckle my tourers and get down to the business at hand. While sitting in a rather prone position I examine the furnishings. What, another button? This one is located close to a slot in the wall. Having survived so far I decide to take my chances again and press this button, burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr click, a length of toilet paper extends from the wall. How cute, automatic toilet dispenser. Another meaningless invention I'll file with all the other gizmo's that are totally unnecessary like the 'key finder'. How's this for an invention, a key finder that you press the button on which in turn activates a loud beep from the lost keys. Sounds great except for one small problem. Where the fuck did I put the key finder! I think you can work out the problem.
So, there I was not particularly impressed by this auto toilet paper dispenser. I mean I am not a Luddite, I don't mind a new invention that reduces labour of solves a problem, but really, an auto toilet paper dispenser? I can imagine some nerdy sales person using this as a selling point to a naive Orange Council purchaser with claims the Concept 2000 toilet has 'auto paper dispenser'. Wow, that must be good, we'll buy it! As a 'client' you are still left with a piece of paper in your hand. When they automate the other end of the equation I will really sit up and pay attention. Sorry about the pun.
There is only so long you can sit and ponder human endevour from a toilet in an Orange car park and amuse yourself pressing the toilet paper button. I stand to make my exit but the convenience still had a couple of peculiarities in stall for me. I turned to press the flush button and discover a sign. A sign in the auto toilet? Obviously humans still needed some direction in this brave new environment. The sign instructed, 'There is no flush button. Toilet will flush automatically when you wash your hands or when you exit the toilet'. Wow, auto flush! I started to feel like Mr Bean as I passed my hands under the auto activated tap to watch the auto activated toilet looking from one to the other.
Finally, it was time to leave after what seemed like a journey through time. I found myself back in the harsh daylight trying to focus on the real world again with a feeling somewhere between that you have when you get off a ride in sideshow alley and perhaps being molested. Had I been fondled by the Concept 2000? I did however have some sense of satisfaction, all this and absolute gratis, zilch, nada, nothing, free! I'd ridden the Concept 2000 and it hadn't cost a cent! It would be enough to confirm to a Lithuanian bus driver what the west really is a cesspit of decadence. I did find myself however considering the future of the free poo world in these economic rationalist times and user pays philosophy. I am sure it won't be too long before that red button on the door is replace by a coin slot or even better card reader. Your visa statement would read, Poo- Orange. Once inside the new profit driven enterprise 'they' would obviously want you out as quickly as possible. No more sitting playing with the toilet paper dispenser. An auto detector could ascertain your age. Teenagers would be blasted with Frank Sinatra and the elderly with Slipknot and perhaps for little tots they would simply play the wiggles backwards. Move on Transavante I think I have a load of cement to deliver somewhere south of the Rio Del Fargo. Hasta la vista amigo.
posted by transavante | 9:37 a.m.
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